They tell you you may be constipated. They do not tell you that you wont poop for 5 days and will then need to take laxatives that make you poop 5 times a day. If you have never tried Milk of Magnesia let me spare you the experience and tell you it is one of the most fowl things you will ever put in your mouth. For starters after surgery you are not allowed to "chug" liquids so you have to sip on it without puking. To make things worse it doesn't work right away so when you need instant gratification like myself you take even more of it and then your intestines rebel. Long and gross story short it is now 2pm and I have pooped 5 times.. 5 times!!!
please don't make me poop again. I promise I will be better