Tuesday, April 1, 2014


Recently I had a very scary incident where my eyes began to cross and everything became very blurry and I was having a hard time walking. I was convinced, as always, that I was going to die. I called my mother immediately to which she replied "Well your probably just going to become unconscious" I then of course being crying and she quickly told me that she meant I would probably faint. I have never fainted before and I was about to go to bed. "Mom in going to faint in my sleep and then die." My parents have gotten used to this so they simply chuckle at my anxieties. Not problem mom but if I don't call you tomorrow I have died in my sleep! Clearly this didn't happen, nor did I faint.

The next day I still felt very dizzy and decided to call the doctor to see what was going on. Her response was, "the first thing we tell you to do is drink. Why aren't you drinking?" I tried telling her that I had forgotten and that I was out all day and blah blah blah. "Well today you will not be eating you just need to drink peialyte." Clearly this was a punishment however I learned that pedialyt is actually not that bad when you mix it with water.

My message to you is DRINK WATER!! Put whatever you need in it if plain water gets boring but do not "become unconscious!!"

Eating at Restaurants

Hey guys, sorry I have been gone for a while I didn't have internet.
Over the past week I visited my grandparents in D.C. This is one of my favorite cities filled with some of my favorite restaurants. Should out to Busboys and Poets! Any way, my grandparents rarely ever make their own food and are either grabbing something from Whole Foods, or going out to eat. This meant that I spent the majority of my dinners (and 2 lunches) eating at restaurants. At this point in my recovery I have moved on the mushy foods so I figured this wouldn't be too bad. I stuck mainly to ordering sides or appetizers and then just taking everything else home.

My grandparents had known about the surgery but the people I was with and waiters didn't which lead to some awkward moments:

Me: Can I just have the tuna salad please
Waitress: You mean the sandwich?
Me: No just the tunafish
Waitress: The sandwich
Me: No I would literally just love a spoonful of tunafish salad
- The restaurant charged me $7 for this in which my grandmother told them they could either give me more or only charge me $3

Me: Can I just get a cup of soup please?
Waiter: Thats it? You must not be very hungry!
(I could only eat 3 bites)
Waiter: Oh no you didn't like it?
Me: No it was amazing I would like to take the rest home
Waiter: You don't have to lie sweetie if you don't like it thats fine
Me: No seriously, its great, please pack it up for me

Monday, March 24, 2014

Beach Body Shaming

I am having the great pleasure of going to Florida for two weeks in April. I am beyond excited and happy to be with my family so I do not need to fell the stares of others as I bask on the beach in my full body bathing suit. Today I saw a magazine which I am sure you have all seen entitled "best and worst beach bodies." Now I am a person who enjoys being mad at society for the pressures they put on women but I refuse to buy these magazines and feed to their ratings. Yes "Star" I would LOVE to see bad beach bodies that are not only beautiful but way tighter and smaller than mine. Like I said however, I like to get angry so I decided today for some reason to look up "beach bodies" on the internet and thought I would share the horrifying things that I found.

Needless to say the captions of the photos were written by assholes and not myself. I leave you with anger..

Josie Gibson aka the bikini killer was papped running (amazed she can) along the beach in Spain and she looked like a fucking pig with cellulite.

Are her boobs and beauty enough to make up for her bad built body?

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Dear Target, I thought we were friends

I had decided after surgery that I would not be buying new clothes until I had lost a good amount of weight. Things changed however when I got an interview for Graduate school (I know Im kind of a big deal) and decided yoga pants would not quite be appropriate. Don't get me wrong, I tried putting a fancy sweater on top of my yoga pants both my friends and boyfriend seemed quite horrified. SO I decided to go to Target to look for dress pants since they usually have a nice plus size section. I am slightly addicted to shopping so I put the fact that I would be spending money on a pair of pants I will hopefully not fit in to again in the back of my mind.

My boyfriend and I talked in Target and I went straight to the section that usually has plus sized clothes. I searched and searched and all I saw was maternity. Am I now supposed to pretend that I am fat because I am pregnant? I asked one of the sales associates where the plus size section was. She then told me that they were reorganizing the store so it would not be set up until next week. This confused me since every other section was set up. I asked her about this and she stated once again that they were not done setting up the store. She promised that it would be up next week. The problem is lady that I don't really care, I want it to not be the ONLY section that is not put out. Maternity, juniors, bikinis, women's active wear, lingerie, everything else was there. I am a person too and I will not be looked over! So kindly go to your room and think about what you just did.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Green for St Patricks Day!

Disclaimer: this is gross

This morning I woke up to the sun in my face and the sweet sounds of lambs in the barn. I then looked down and my incisions as they were starting to itch and saw green puss dripping out of one of them. I of course was horrified and convinced that my insides were falling out. So clearly I did the best thing for it and began to squeeze all the puss out. Icky. I then ran downstairs to my mother and told her I was dying to which she laughed and told me to put neosporin on it. Clearly she did not understand the severity of my condition. I then texted my father who is a nurse who told me the same thing. HA I will not let you people tell me to sit by as I puss to death in my room!! I then told my friend who said "Haha your stomach must know it is St. Patricks day!"

Dear followers, if I do not write tomorrow I have drown in green puss from my insides falling out of my body. Know that I have loved you all and it has been a honor.